thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
