Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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