If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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