Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Randomize
