So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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