Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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