I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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