Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
