I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
