Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Randomize
