I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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