Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Randomize
