At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
