hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
there is glitter all over my balls
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