Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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