High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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