Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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