So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
