Pants 0. Shit 1.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
