last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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