He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
