New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
