I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
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