Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
she looked like the before picture.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Randomize
