There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
