dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
