It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
