I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
