the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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