I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
