he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
