I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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