TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Randomize
