Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i think my mom watched the whole time
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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