I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
