I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
