Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
