Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
