what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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