I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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