You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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