Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
