there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
this just has baby written all over it
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
