Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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