I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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