While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
