I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
