How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
