if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
