dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
